Our Difficulties Often Clarify Where Our Important Bonds /True ‘Family’ Are
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of the same family grow up under one roof.” Richard Bach
The moments in our lives when we face the impossible brings forth the forces that call forth our truest possibilities and connections. Until our limits are tested and everything we know and have done to remedy our situations is useless. How can we know what we are really made of and who is important in our world?
The people that stand with us when all else are too busy or too indifferent to care become the leaders, mentors, and true family in our lives. Until things are tough how can we know who is our true family?
There are mindsets that form the bones of those who will become our true family. They are:
- a person who is a ‘Larger Purpose and Larger Community thinker
- a person that builds their lives around seeking the Highest Good
- a person that know that gold comes from Small Things Done with Great Heart
The Bones of a ‘True Family ‘ Member
Are You a Larger Purpose and Larger Community Thinker?
My father used to say “Everyone you meet, that’s the ‘right’ person.”
Integrity is a larger word that speaks to how we integrate or bond. People who think of the larger good and the system as a whole have the bones and the heart to stand as our larger family.
Just as my father understood that each person was a part of the whole. He also understood that it takes everyone pulling together towards a Higher good to make a community strong. This type of integrity requires a mindset that knows that each person is important and makes a viable contribution to something larger and purposeful.
A smaller purpose thinker stands back afraid of their limitations and does not feel that it is their business or ought to be their important concern. When opening to support, know that this type of fear denotes poor bonding ability.
Are You Thinking of What Good Can Be Accomplished in the Circumstance?
My Grandmother Hilda’s mantra was “the only thing that exists is quality and everything else that exists is what occurs before quality occurs.”
People who believe that good can come from any situation have healthy bones. This type of person sees the hands of Providence and inspiration available in every difficult moment and will see the trouble as an opportunity to call on Something Greater to bring forth qualities and circumstances that allow all involved to step up.
Not only do these situations often bring people out of the woodwork we might never have considered as a part of our support system, they also call forth novel ideas that might never be tried when everything is working. The greatest innovations are often born in a ‘nothing else works’ situation.
The bottom line presupposition is that good can be accomplished and that Providence will provide resources and people to benefit the Good.
Be wary of bonding with those who only see the evil and can not imagine anything worthwhile coming from the circumstance.
Do You Focus on The Large Benefit from Small Gifts?
I have heard from many the stories of heartfelt moments when the smallest gesture, gift, or right words changed an impossible situation. People with healthy bones know that it is the small things that make the largest difference sometimes.
The faith and basic goodness brought forth in a tough time by small gestures often provide the needed hope to bridge to unexpected possibilities. People will often take a leap of faith when fueled by an unexpected act of kindness or concern.
Persons that feel that all the planning and answers have to be in place in order to move often will not allow for the experimenting necessary to engage in new and untested approaches. Bonding with those who prefer to worry does not allow for possibilities or innovations.
Saying Yes to the Gold – Making the Choice for Good Bones
Your intense times will be the times where you meet the key people in your life and develop your truest attributes and possibilities. Remember gold gets created in the fire.
Choosing people with good bones and being the person with good bones by a) being a larger purpose/larger community thinker, b) seeking the possible good in the difficulty and the possible innovation, and c) knowing that small gifts can often produce the largest benefit, provides the framework for creating the true bonds/true family and becoming that gift of ‘true family’ to others.