“One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.” ~  Nelson Mandela

In the name of due diligence, you can second guess, worry, and belittle your dreams. This leads to major starts, stops, and crashes. Every time you have a dream of what is possible in your life or your work, you find your due diligence gets in the way of it ever becoming reality.

Ambivalence – that sense of mixed feelings and contradictory ideas – and the 100 foibles that go with it can undermine your important dreams and projects.

Instead of pursuing your dreams, you spend so much time weighing out those contradictory ideas that you rarely get as far as taking action to turn those dreams into reality.

Sound familiar?

How Much Time Are You Devoting to the War Room?

The War Room of your mind is where you spend time strategizing and in battle preparations for the inevitable concerns that arise when you think about the future.  The Dream Room is where you entertain possibilities and relish the amazing outcomes.

An important question to ask is: “How much time am I

devoting to the war room and how much time am I spending in the dream room?” If better than 50% of your time is being spent in battle preparation and strategy for the inevitable concerns, you need to look at your ambivalence.

While it is important to notice when your quality of life may be slipping and take action on it, this needs to be viewed as support for maintaining excellence, rather than battling the day to day downside.  The way you approach your day – whether with a future-focused mindset of possibility or spending most of your time and energy figuring out how to solve issues and prevent future challenge – tells whether the mentality of the war room or the dream room presides.  If the war room receives your predominant attention, then ambivalence presides in your inner room.

Your War Room Mentality Creates a Weather System

Although you may think people can’t feel ‘the Storm is coming mentality,’ a brief poll of people around you may surprise you!

If you are spending a good part of your time premeditating and meditating the downside, then whether you are discussing it or not, this promotes a Weather System in your life.

If out of your mouth first is “what are the problems we are dealing with today? “  you have just said a lot. What solutions grow your dream rather than chasing problems is the most important and positively influencing thing you can do.

Should you believe that you don’t have time for the niceties, praise for others (or yourself), and discussing the dream, you have spoken loads about your degree of Ambivalence. Speaking positive words to yourself and others and talking about those hopes and dreams has further positive influence in your energy and your actions.

The Attitudes that Fuel Your War Room

Not sure just how much time you’re spending in the War Room? Examine Your Inner Room with the following questions:

Self to Self (My attitudes about me)

What are my beliefs about myself that have the potential to stop me from succeeding?

Self to Others (My attitudes about others)

What do I believe about my friends, colleagues, family or significant other that could prevent my success?

What do I need to do for myself to resolve those beliefs?

Others to Self (Others’ attitudes towards me)

What do people know about my history that could stop me from being successful?

If these people are close, how can I create appropriate distance and alliances that support me?

What You Make Time for Is What is Running Your World

Ambivalence requires your time, energy, and refueling.  If you want to ‘be in your own game’ then you must be aware of the attitudes that are redelivering the worst case and agree to give them very little of your time and energy.

Be certain to shift your focus to Excellence Management and instill this as your standard.   Spend much more time in your life and plans on acknowledging and building your dream.  Nurture and reward every example that shows your dream moving forward.

Ambivalence requires a partner.  Fire this partner and watch your quality grow!

Photo by Eunice Lituañas on Unsplash